How to Deal with Greedy Siblings
Your siblings don’t show up at the door to visit Mom. They don’t offer to take Dad to doctor’s appointments. Heck, they don’t even know the doctors’ names. They don’t know the medications. They don’t care about the elderly parent’s temper tantrums you, the caregiver, must weather. They don’t care that you are the target for verbal abuse from the Alzheimer’s afflicted parent. And they really don’t care that the you haven’t had a break from 24/7 responsibility, whether hands-on or helping with all the needs of an elder in assisted living or nursing home, for weeks, months or years. They voice huge concern for the elder, yet they aren’t willing to get their hands dirty (figuratively or literally), or open their wallets to help.
You, the adult child that first took on caregiving because it seemed like the right thing to do, had no idea that this would go on for years. You had no idea that the elders’ needs would eat up your whole life; that you wouldn’t have time to attend your own children’s school functions unless you hired help; that your siblings would fight you for every penny you wanted/needed to spend on elder care. You had no idea that you and your husband would not be able to have an evening out unless you paid for an elder-sitter (if you were lucky enough to find one) out of your own pocket.